*I wanted to added a note here.* This post is simply my own thoughts, convictions, and opinions. You can take them or leave them. I really don’t care.
When it comes to Romance, there is a wide range of thoughts. Some people call books Romance if there is even the smallest hint of romance in the story. Other people say that there has to be a good portion of the book that is romance. For me, the definition is “if you can take the romance out of the story and not have a story, then it’s a romance.” 🙂
Romance is real life. People get married all the time. While I may include some romance in a story, that is not going to be the focus of the book, so I wouldn’t call it a romance. (See definition above.) But why? Why don’t I write books focused on romance? Here are a few reasons.
1.) Saturated The markets are saturated and overflowing with Romance books! Have you ever stopped to think of how many books there are that people label Romance? It’s a lot! And many of them are romance with hardly anything else in the book. Since there are so many books in this category, I didn’t feel that I needed to add to the lake. 🙂
2.) False Expectations In most romance books the author has an idealistic couple. The guy is wonderful, and she is so beautiful! The problems are small or non-existent (once they learn to communicate ;)), and everything has a rosy glow and everything looks like it will be perfect. Guess what? That’s not real life. No one is perfect. No marriage is all sandy beaches and sunsets with your best friend. Marriage is hard work! Most romance books create false expectations for girls or women about relationships which leads to disappointment, and sometimes divorce.
3.) Creates Craving Often books that stir up emotions that can’t be fulfilled–like wishing you could marry that perfect guy–only create a craving for more such stories. Soon the light romance books don’t satisfy. We want a little more, then a little more. Our lives become consumed with finding the next romance fix. Where will it end? And are we actually lusting after these perfect guys in the books we read?
4.) Not Family Reading I write stories for the entire family. If I wouldn’t be comfortable handing a story to my niece, nephew, Mom, or grandma, then I don’t write it. If it’s going to make me blush, I won’t write it. This doesn’t mean there might not be a couple who “fall in love” in a story, but that is not going to be the focus on the book and it will most likely be only a very short thing.
5.) Wrong Focus For me, I know I can’t saturate my mind with stories of romance without my thoughts going in a direction they shouldn’t. I can read a Romance book now and then and enjoy it, but I know that writing a book takes me weeks, months, sometimes years, 😛 and if I focus on a romantic relationship for that long, I begin to imagine all kinds of things, and grow discontented with where God has me as a single woman.
And there you have it. The 5 reasons I don’t write Romance. What do you think about Romance? Read my thoughts on Fantasy here. Do you want to know why I don’t write Si-Fi, or Cozy Mysteries? Stay tuned for more “Why I Don’t Write” posts. The rest of these posts will be coming sometime. I just don’t know when. 🙂
Yes, yes and yes! I most certainly agree. 🙂
Thanks, Leona. 🙂
These are very good points to ponder. 😉
Thanks.
You nailed it, as always! I don’t really struggle with a huge desire to get married, and I think romance really tries to cater to that, so usually they just end up boring. XD Besides, there are so many other things I’d rather see my hero doing! And YES. Why can’t I pick up a book without it turning into a romance?? (Especially war fiction!)
Yes, there are lots of romance books. I get tired of it too at times. 🙂
I *love* that definition of romance! It’s perfect!
For me, personally, if a book has romance in it, it has to be biblical. Yes, there’s sin in the world — I know that, but should I really read about it? Is it edifying to me, or is it leading my thoughts astray? Are there too many sordid details, or were the facts stated matter-of-factly, and the story went on? Do the characters grow from what happened, or is the sin condoned? For me, personally, if something happens in a romance that is sinful, but is shared without too many details (you know, you can share something without describing all five senses:touch, sight, sound, smell, hearing), and is seen as wrong, and helps the characters to grow, and there are consequences for what happened, I *might* — and it’s a very big might — keep reading.
Other things I look for in a romance are:
=Do the characters honour their parents and each other’s parents? Is this a “forbidden” relationship, and the characters keep sneaking off anyways? If the guy and the girl aren’t honouring their parents, what kind of message am I imbibing from the book?
=Are the characters attracted to each other because of emotions? Physical appearance? Or are they attracted to each other’s characters through hard work and days spent together, discussing things other than frivolous sentiments such as, ” You are my world!” Or, “Your eyes are gorgeous” or anything else? While physical attraction is importent, if a girl is only attracted to a guy because of that cute smile that makes her knees feel like jelly, or a guy is attracted to a girl because of the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs, how realistic is that? There should definitely be more to a relationship than cuteness and giddiness, although that will most definitely be a part.
=And, of course, the whole sin issue. If there is sin — and in a fallen world we see so much — there should be consequences and there should be repentance. There should be sorrow, not a “Hey, look, I got what I want, let’s do it again!” type of thing.
Anyways, long rambly comment that I hope makes sense! I have enjoyed these posts immensely, Rebekah, and am looking forward to reading more!
Exactly! If the only reason to get married now is because how “hot” or “cute” someone looks, what’s going to happen when they lose that look?
Thanks for sharing, Kaitlyn!
Love this! Totally agree!
Thanks, Ryana Lynn! 🙂
Great points!!!! I agree! 🙂
🙂 Thanks, Rosalyn.
Cool post!! These are really great points 😀
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Thanks.
Excellent post! I completely agree. I haven’t yet written a romance for these exact reasons. Now that I am married (there’s no way I would have written one before I was married!), I do have just one romance scheduled to be written in the near future, and part of my goals with the book include bucking the norms of your points 2-4. This will be a squeaky-clean romance pointing readers to Jesus, not to feelings or happily-ever-afters, and I’ll be confident in handing it to grandmothers, moms, nephews, Bible teachers, dentists, etc. This is because while the romance IS crucial and central to the story, it isn’t the point of the book; it’s about what the characters learn and how they grow and mature and discover more of Kingdom life with Jesus through what they’re experiencing. 🙂 It’s about His gospel and His covenant relationship with us being revealed through romance, something that too often isn’t shown in books. Satan and the world love to twist romance, but it ultimately belongs to our HOLY God!
Thanks so much for your excellent post! It’s encouraging to hear that I’m not the only author who thinks like this. 🙂
Now that book sounds like one I’d like to read, Erika! Let me know when it’s written. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!